Christmas Neutral
“What are you doing for Christmas?” It’s a simple enquiry which should come with an easy answer but this year it feels like a question meant for someone else.
No doubt by the time you read this I will have a plan but, at the time of writing, I don’t have a definitive reply and in a world where everyone else seems to have a clear idea of venue, guest list and menu I am weirdly relaxed about that.
I grew up with the traditional family Christmas – my grandmother loved all that festive joy so there’d be a tree at our place, hot lunch of roast chicken and a steam pudding with coins in it, followed by afternoon naps.
After Grandma died and my parents had moved to Auckland, I’d host it for our smallish extended family – a dozen or so people at most – and we embraced a more climate-appropriate lunch of salads and salmon with berries and trifle. We kept the afternoon naps, though. And the Christmas decorations, crackers and hats.
Sometimes, instead of host I’d get to be a guest with wonderful friends in Napier and Tauranga, and there were a couple of years with my brother’s family in Wellington.
But some of our family stopped celebrating Christmas and then, once my parents had died, the air went out of it for me. Not in the sense that I’ve taken against it, but in recent years I’ve realised what I yearn for isn’t the trappings – trees, gifts, carols – but a day with my husband, daughter and mokopuna, ideally with a swim at the beach. Definitely with a trifle and an afternoon nap.
And whether that gathering happens on Christmas Day or Boxing Day or even later if they have other whānau to see, it honestly doesn’t matter.
To be clear, I haven’t gone all Scrooge on it and I’m not going to protest the Santa Parade. I appreciate there are people who really do have an allergic reaction to Christmas and close the curtains till it’s over, or who take a principled stand against consumerism or religion, but that’s not me.
Also, I admire other people who go all-in with decorations and novelty earrings, and who mail Christmas cards and organise Secret Santas.
But for myself, I just don’t have strong feelings either way – and have suddenly realised there is this third option I hadn’t considered. “Christmas Neutral” if you will. I suspect there are more of us about, so this is me saying hello.
There still might be an evening walk down Auckland’s Franklin Road to see the lights – I love a display and admire the effort of these good citizens. And if I’m out somewhere and someone pulls out a cracker and puts on a hat, I’ll definitely join in. But I’m not starting it.
I most certainly will plug in the Disney Christmas Mountain that my friend Jo found in a Tauranga op shop a couple of years ago – it lights up and plays carols, and every Disney character spins around while Santa wobbles about in a sleigh on the mountain’s peak. To be honest, I’d haul that beast out in June if I could get away with it but we’re already breaking enough rules by leaving the fairylights up on our deck all year round.
So this is me for 2025, comfortably Christmas Neutral. Yuletide Agnostic. Beige Noel. Three stars, no Wise Men. Think of me as Switzerland when it comes to Seasonal Glee – unaligned but with plenty of chocolate.